My Haven

"Our worlds are too far apart..."

Someone very special told me this line, not too long ago; in fact, it was only recently when he messaged me that line. And I thought it was a line uttered in the previous century, when people were still so holed up in their countries, not minding the rest of the world.

But this is the 21st century. Globalization is hitting us on the face.Cultures are no longer bound by geography. People are no longer afraid to venture out into the unknown and try to have an experience of some strange cultures. Technology is creating a global village where people meet on cyberspace, with the hope of having global friends (and eventually fall in love). These are some of the scenarios of the 21st century.

Who would have thought that such a line could create unrest and sleepless nights to me? I was appalled at the implication of such a line. It was heavy with meaning--discrimination, downright rejection of someone's culture and beliefs, and most of all, lack of perspective of the one who sent it.

"Our worlds are too far apart..." What a ridiculous statement!

I have a life that is full of challenges and joys. Living it fully is my foremost goal eventhough I am weighed down by people I care for who are sometimes insensitive. They will not influence my flair and passion to enjoy what God has given me: my career, my post graduate undertaking, my nieces and nephews, my friends, and my talents.
I am a beautiful and wonderful person. Nothing can affect me and I will not allow negativism and insensitivity to stop me from living a blessed and charmed life.
I will continue to search for that one elusive love that will make life more meaningful and more colorful.
This is a promise I give to myself.

I am being haunted by my past. This is not supposed to happen because I let him go. (I broke up with him a few years ago, with hope that I would find someone who could share this life with me.)
Just trying to situate myself...I am in love with someone right now. He is the perfect man for me...mature, intelligent, with a sense of purpose, sometimes funny-sometimes not, fulfilled, seeking to self-actualize, goodlooking, and a man of his words. This man makes me feel so happy.
My life has been one of adventures...an exciting journey that has become responsible into an evolved person that I am now who values life, success (not so much on material), my family and friends, my beloved, my profession, and my spirituality. There is nothing to ask for. God has been good.
But this past--the one that I have forgotten--is reminding me of things that I must and must not do. I must stay firm in my decision to never resurrect the past relationship with this man. I must move on with my life because I received a lot of blessings when I let go of that relationship with that man. I must be faithful to my commitment of building a lasting relationship with the man I am in love with. I must stay focused on the goals and aspirations in order for me to better my profession. I must finish my doctoral without being distracted by the past. I must concentrate on my work and my present.
As for my "I must nots", I must not forget that I am a woman of value and character. Everything I say comes from my heart and I must never stray from the path I have decided to trod.
So this haunting can never affect me. This is not important in my life anymore. The good things that are happening to me right now are gifts that must be cherished. The persons who are in my life at present are given by God, and they must be treasured.
There is no haunting. Everything is in place.

I just need something that will lighten my workload. It is so overwhelming! I feel like I'm standing in the middle of two big boulders. I just don't know what to do with so many deadlines and so many papers to finish. I feel like I'm ready to sleep and hibernate!!!!